It took fractures and a concussion to make me realize that the man i
 had married the second time really was as dangerous and as abusive
 as others had told me from events that had preceded the fractures.
 The hardest part for a woman in a dangerous situation of being married

 to a violent man is finally admitting how stupid I was to begin with 
in not recognizing the controlling, dominating, threatening,coercing,
 terrifying relationship before I married him the second time. 
I am now divorced from that man and I thank GOD and also the church 
I was in at the time that they understood better than I did that he
 did not love me at any point in time, and that he was dangerous. 
The district attorney who was prosecuting him after he was arrested
 the second time for trying to kidnap me and making threats to kill me
 told me that the county justice considered him 'very very dangerous'
 and thought of tracking his every movement. If they had done that,
 I might have been spared the fractures and concussion that happened
 when he violated the restraining order against him; in order  to 
harass and threaten and try to control me by trying to prevent me 
from leaving the state in 2006. 
 It took me a while to admit to myself how stupid I was to have gotten
 involved with him in the first place, but in my defense, I did not
 know much of his legal history of law-breaking behaviours until after
 I had married him then his lawyer told me  The felony he had was sealed

 by the court and not public knowledge after he paid a big fee into
 the system to accomplish that.  
  If I had advice to women dating, I would say get a background check
 on any guy that you have not known for years and or have had long 
on-going relationship to test the limits of it. That sounds harsh 
but read the news of how many women have been murdered by the man
 they had slept with! It is shocking the numbers. 
  My then-husband [exhusband #2 now] pretended to love me, and always

 acted sorry afterwards. He tried to choke me, poison me, threw his
 coat on the stairs as I was coming down the stairs behind him with
 an armload of books and I did not see the jacket but my foot
 caught in it and I went wham to the bottom like a rocket on that
 coat and was hurt.That was one event of about 7 -8 events intended 
to kill me. I survived but did my soul? It has affected me. I do not
 want to be bitter toward all men or suspicious of all men. I love men
 in general and loved my daddy who is now dead, also, but I am 
very much more cautious and tend to be a recluse. My attempts to 
overcome involved writing a  poem entitled "I' m Telling Someone'
 and I think it is still on this site of mine if you are curious:
http://gloriapoole.com/my-poetry or google may have archived copy
 of it .
 Gloria Poole; Missouri; 10-April-2010